if you can’t already tell, i’m in the process of building my new website (this is my soft launch!), and with a new website comes the natural kinks that need to be worked out. last night while doing some work on the site, minutes turned into hours and soon i was hunting through the archives on an old photoblog of mine for some images…but what i found was much more valuable.
in setting up anything new… a website… a business… a relationship — it’s so easy to focus simply on closing the gap from where we are to where we want to be, as soon as possible. but as i dug through my old site i was reminded of the following:
That’s the thing about art that’s difficult for perfectionists like me…there is no objective standard of perfection. Everything is open to interpretation. And in that sense, perfectionists are striving for something which cannot be obtained. Interesting. Whenever I get too hung up over the details of a project or upset because things didn’t turn out how I planned them to, it’s always good to remember that my creativity cannot be limited by an idealistic picture of how things are supposed to look, and that being able to adapt to and work with the form that I have in front of me is a beneficial skill. And that’s applicable to many walks of life.
those are some pretty wise words from a nineteen-year-old college student. i guess i was pretty self-aware. ;)
as soon as i read those words written years ago, i took a deep breath and thought: you’re doing it again, paulina. rome wasn’t built in a day. this is going to take some time– more than you’d like– and it’s okay. things won’t be perfect but they will be beautiful, and they will be you, and that’s what matters.
honestly, i’m still a little in shock about how candid i used to be on my photoblog. i used to treat it more like a journal, being open about my faith, my struggles, my triumphs, hopes, dreams, loves…
as a writer, i miss that. last week i had an epiphany when i realized it’s been a while since i’ve written something, anything, that matters. to me. i’ve been so tremendously blessed with the opportunity to have a taste of my first busy fall wedding season, shooting weddings each weekend more often than not in the past nineteen weeks.
i hope that each time you visit the site you discover something new: as with all new things, it’s a work-in-progress.
i hope that this new website brings a fresh start…that the pages of this online journal will call me home.